There’s no such thing as a person who is photogenic at all times. Everyone has a bad photo of themselves lurking in the background of a photo album somewhere. The same can be said about families. Someone always blinks, makes a face or looks away at just the wrong moment. But just because there are plenty of bad family photos out there doesn’t mean there’s anything wrong with them. And then there are these family photos. There’s much more to them than a simple blink or a silly face. In fact, they are downright creepy! It’s one thing to have one family misfit, but when everyone gets together to pose and these are the photos that result, no one will want to receive a Christmas card from these people again!
15 The passionate sibling kiss
Vintage photos are all the same, right? Everyone looks directly at the camera and no one smiles. Well, this one is a bit out of the norm, wouldn’t you say? Instead of a simple, non-smiling shot, this family got a bit more than they bargained for. Not only did the little boy move in for a kiss, but he worked his hands around the little girl’s face as well. He’s serious about this kiss! And she doesn’t seem to be pushing him away. She’s going all in, too. This just goes to show you that strange things happened in past days as well. Families may be different today than they ever have been before, but that doesn’t mean familial relationships have ever really been “normal.”
14 The mystery of the black eye
There are a lot of things going on in this photo that make it curious. There are so many questions it’s hard to know where to start. First, what happened to her eye? Could she not cover it a bit with makeup or perhaps they could have rescheduled the photo altogether? Does she really want to remember the time when she had a black eye for years to come? And who gave it to her in the first place? We’re not judging, we’re just curious. And second, whose baby is this? The child doesn’t look like the mom or the dad in the picture so who is the real father? Is that why the black eye occurred in the first place? What’s going on here and why did they want to document it?
13 From a galaxy far, far away…
This poor mom. She seems to have it all together. She has her nice pink sweater and her perfectly coifed hair. All she wants is a normal picture with her little girls. And yet, this is what she gets. Her little girls are, well, from another galaxy, apparently. We have to give the photographer credit. He gets it. He put the star background in just to prove a point. Could they not have left a little gel out of their hair for this one shot? Could they have gone a little easier on the eyeliner and black lipstick? Because instead of an endearing shot with mom and daughters, we get this creepy photo that leaves us fearing for our lives. Send those kids back to where they belong!
12 This isn’t Medieval Times…
The Ludwig kids were in for quite the surprise when Dad came home one day from work and announced he won tickets to Medieval Times. Little Susie could see it already: the bright lights, a handsome Lord on a horse, the delicious meal of chicken and exquisite desserts to make her feel like the princess she is. The disappointment was real when she stepped into this mess of wondering where the hell she was.
Where were the horses? The handsome prince? Her damn promised chicken?! Things took an even worse turn when her dad approached the family wearing… this. Whatever “this is.” He looked like he either stepped off an episode of Bob’s Burger’s and dressed as a pony in his spare time or he just truly was a freak show. Either way, these are memories that little Susie will never forget. No matter how many sessions of therapy she takes.
11 There’s nothing like a tidal baby
If you’ve ever been to the beach, you’ve probably been tempted to write something in the sand. Perhaps you drew a heart or wrote the name of someone you love along with yours. Maybe you even spelled something out with seashells for fun. This couple? They took it a step farther. Instead of a nice family shot on the beach, they left the kid at home and just has his face projected into the sand later. What happens when the tide comes in? Does it wash the kid away? Perhaps that is what they want, here? And they aren’t even looking at the creepy child in the waves before them. It’s like they don’t know he’s there or something. Baby attack! Clear the water, quick!
10 Did no one announce the photo or what?
We understand that when you get a family this large together, it is hard to get a good shot. There’s a lot going on and a lot of people that have to cooperate. And while mom might blink and the babies might cry or look away, why is it that everyone in this photo is doing something other than looking at the camera? Okay, that’s not true. There are two girls looking at the camera, but only one of them is smiling. Did the photographer forget to tell them it was time for the picture before snapping the shot? Because no one’s ready in the least. Do they think they are gathered here together like this and posed for no particular reason? There doesn’t seem to be a reason!
9 Never in dad’s wildest imagination
When we put our imaginations to work, we can think up some pretty crazy things. But as this family sat down to brainstorm family photos, did they ever imagine anything this creepy? It looks as if everyone is sitting inside dad’s head. Which perhaps is where it all started in the first place…in his imagination as he wondered what his family would be like someday. Is there a reason dad isn’t in the picture in a normal manner with the rest of the family? Would he not fit around his wife’s large hair? Do they not get along well? Give him his own photo and frame on the entry table. Anything to avoid the creepy notions of the floating head with all those people inside it.
8 Orange you creeped out by this picture?
It’s wonderful when people work out and take care of their bodies. Being healthy is important! Muscles are a way to show inner strength and dedication that has seeped through to the outside. But when one person in the family has that strength and the others are lacking, is it really necessary to force the one into a bikini? And did they really need to paint her orange before the photo shoot as well? The difference between the sisters in this photo is striking, and not in a good way. And we’re also concerned about the sword. Very concerned. There are too many things already going on here to add the mystery of a sword. This is disturbing on so many levels. Please just get the orange lady some clothes.
7 Four generations of weird
It makes sense that if dad is weird, his baby will be too. And he had to get it from somewhere so that goes back to his mom. And then his mom’s mom. But who’s idea was this picture? Babies need to suck and chew on things and we’re okay with them doing that. It’s a natural way of things. But a grown man? And then a grandma? And so on? It’s just weird! If they want to take a four generation picture, that’s wonderful, but this is not the way to go. Plus, what’s going on with the man’s makeup. Is he getting ready to go out and work as a mime? To top it off, maybe grandma and great grandma should get that makeup job too.
6 When the barrel of monkeys aren’t plastic figures
It’s nice when you are able to get the whole family dressed up and ready for a group photo. It’s always hard to get everyone to cooperate, though. Some of the little ones get wiggly and others don’t want to look at the camera. And then there are those who mess up their fur between shots. Wait, fur? Yes, that’s right. Fur. Because this photo is not of a couple and their children, but of a couple and their, well, barrel of real live monkeys. And the monkeys are not only there, but they’re each fully dressed in order to show off their different characters and personalities. We’ve heard of the crazy cat lady, but what about the crazy monkey couple? That’s a new one and rather disturbing, at that.
5 The family plan of the past
It’s not uncommon to see a family all on different cell phones when they are out to dinner, but that’s not something most families are proud of. When a family gathers for a group photo, they might be clacking away on their phones before and after the session, but certainly not during. This family had knowledge before their time. They saw into the future and realized what real family life was going to be like once cell phones emerged and took over quality family dinners everywhere. It’s creepy how they seem to know what’s going to happen. Do they have a time machine? They obviously aren’t from this decade, so how did they come up with this idea? And who are they all talking to?
4 What to do with uncooperative kids
It’s nice that this mom and daughter group was able to get together for a photo. It’s not everyday that they’re all together, after all. And it’s not every day that the oldest daughter’s ornery children are cooperating long enough to get the shot. Wait, where are the children, anyway? Oh that’s right, they locked them in the dog crate before they sat down to have coffee. Don’t worry, they have plenty of room. It’s a big dog cage and the dog is outside at the moment so they don’t even have to share with anyone, except each other. Bet they didn’t notice this photo bomb when they printed the picture out and showed it around at work…until someone called child services with a tip.
3 The joker is your grandpa
This is what happens when the Joker gets old and has grandkids of his own. He can’t completely give up his old ways, can he? No way! But he’s trying, he really is. He wears t-shirts that tell people to hug and not do drugs. That’s clearly on the side of good and not evil, right? And he’s given in and gotten corrective lenses because he just can’t see the jokes he writes any longer. But there’s no way he’s giving up his makeup. And why should he? It looks good on him! Okay, maybe not so much. Even the baby who doesn’t know much about anything yet is crying enough to let us know he’s scared. And so are we! Please go wash your face, creepy grandpa.
2 The dad in drag
In today’s culture it’s not altogether uncommon for men or women to come out as transgender and live as a different s*x than the one they were born as. Sometimes, men just like to dress as women and there’s nothing wrong with that. But when they don’t shave their mustaches and wear stockings and a dress in the family Christmas photo, it’s a little confusing. The youngest child seems to be getting a kick out of it, but we’re wondering why Dad’s dress has to be so short and why no one else seems bothered by this strange pose. Is it a joke for a friend? Would this make your wall if you got it in the mail? His friends will certainly never look at him the same and his children might have some tricky questions as they grow.
1 The standard naked family pile
It’s fun for a family to have a wrestling match, especially after dad gets home from work and the kids are fed, bathed and all wound up. What’s even more fun than an evening of messing around? A naked family pile and a picture session. Wait, what? Who thought this would be a good idea, exactly? Who suggested this would be anything but creepy and a half? There are little boys in that pile! They aren’t going to be traumatized as teens knowing they laid on their naked mom in a naked manner? With their naked dad nearby? There are too many therapy-related questions to touch on the full scope of this single frame. We can only wonder what happened between shots and who is the most scarred from the session today.