Sorry Mom, I know you want me to wear the wedding dress that you’ve passed down to me, but I just feel like the huge stitched on vagina isn’t really ‘me’.
Spring is finally upon us- which means a few different wonderful things happen. One- the days are getting longer and everything looks generally prettier. Two- it’s acceptable to go and get drunk in the sunshine at 1 o’clock in the afternoon every weekend (unless you live in England, in which case- unlucky). Three- it’s wedding season!
For most women, their wedding day is one of the most important and special days of their life. They spend months planning the perfect day and choosing their dress is an emotional, memorable occasion. They dream about walking down the aisle, turning the heads of their loved ones and moving the groom to tears with their outstanding beauty. This is how they make it out to be in the movies anyway.
What they absolutely never show however, is everybody tucking into the bride’s edible cake dress or the bride posing for photos with her Dad in her condom-embellished frock.
You only have to watch thirty minutes of Say Yes to The Dress to learn that women have such varying preferences when it comes to styles, colors, embellishments and accessories and of course it’s an ‘each to their own’ scenario when it comes to picking your own wedding dress. However, when it comes to these, we can’t help but think that they should’ve said no…
1.The Vagina Dress
I mean, where do we start? We’re pretty much stuck for words on this one. All we can say is that the blushing bride wasn’t the only one blushing that day.
2) Modesty is underrated
He’s marrying her for her wit and personality. Obviously.
3) Can anybody smell rubber?
We can’t be the only one’s to think this is quite creative and weirdly practical? Wedding’s are notorious for hooking up. Save your change guys, the bride’s got this one covered.
4) The pregnancy dress
We’re all for flaunting your baby bump when pregnant, but c’mon- this is a step too far.
5) The cake dress
We don’t even want to think about what happens when she needs a pee. We never turn down free cake, but think we’ll pass on this occasion.
6) The Hello Kitty dress
When you ask your six year old niece to describe her perfect wedding dress.
7) The ‘leave nothing up to the imagination’ dress
If somebody tells you that less is more, please don’t take it as literally as this, ok?
8) The Lady Gaga-esque dress
Because who doesn’t want to look like a walking cauliflower on their wedding day?
9) The poodle dress
When somebody told you that you shouldn’t show too much flesh on your wedding day, I don’t think this is exactly what they meant…
10) When you forget to change out of your novelty hen-do outfit
Hey, at least she looks comfortable
11) The high fashion Haute-Couture dress
Fashion confuses me.
12) Haute Couture version 2.0
When everyone tells you you’re being a bit of a diva but you have no idea what they’re talking about…
13) The rubber glove dress
Imagine being the groom at this wedding and waiting for your beautiful bride to float down the aisle. You turn around to the woman you’re about to spend your life with and… wait, what the hell is that? Can you withdraw a proposal?
14) Body Paint Wedding Attire
15) The head-to-toe crocheted dress
For those who want to look like a massive condom on your wedding day, look no further. Moving your limbs is overrated anyway.
16) The balloon dress
I bet the sound of her squeaking her way past people all day doesn’t get annoying at all…
17) The newspaper dress
Incase you need to catch up on some current affairs on your way down the aisle.
18) Bread-tag wedding dress
What started as a joke for this couple turned into the bride’s actual wedding dress, which she said cost only $36. Who’s laughing now, huh?
19) The sheep wool dress
The thought of making your wedding dress out of your pets fur would normally be super creepy, but in this case it is actually surprisingly heartwarming.
20) The floating head dress
So, we know women come in all different shapes and sizes, but this bride must have the most bizarre body shape we’ve ever seen.
21) The butterfly dress
Ok, we secretly adore this. Who wouldn’t want to look like a butterfly wing?
22) The show off
When you’ve just lost 20 pounds on your wedding diet plan and want to show off your new, slim bod.
23) The Princess Fiona dress
This may not be your usual traditional wedding attire, but there’s no denying that this wedding looks SO FUN.
24) No dress
If you had to choose out of the options listed above, I wonder how many of you would opt for this no-frills choice?
So, there we have it- the 24 most bizarre wedding dresses ever worn. Some of you may be left wondering ‘what the hell were they thinking’- but you’ve got to admit, there’s no risk of anyone EVER having the same dress as them on their big day. Feel free to share this with any brides to be, you never know- they might fall in love with the idea of being head-to-toe in rubber gloves.