You may think you’re ready to walk down the aisle or wait at the end of it. However, is this really the right step for the two of you? Before you say yes, consider indulging in a few activities which may open up new considerations.
Marriage is a huge deal, and should not be taken lightly. Hence, read on below to find out a few recommended things you should do together:
9. Have a Huge Fight
So the first point of the day is…fight. No need to get confused. This is an inevitable part of every relationship. If you haven’t had a good old row, now’s the time to do it. Of course, you must not pick a fight, so better to wait until it comes naturally.
We highly recommend this activity because fights can get ugly. Both of you should know that you can survive after a major argument. Plus, you also need to know just how ugly the other person can get and whether you can handle that. If your partner cannot respect your sensitive issues when they’re angry, this is a problem. Your especially vulnerable areas are a no-go in every case, and so are theirs.
Hence, don’t sidestep every troubling topic that comes along. Having it out can sometimes be really good for a relationship. Even if you have to feel bad for some moments, you’d know how to handle a fight after marriage. In fact, you may also want to do this to make sure they don’t get physically violent.
8. Meet Families
You may think you’re marrying one person, but you’re also taking on their family. These are the people who go way back with your significant other, not to mention the blood ties. So it’s a good idea to at least meet your to-be spouse’s parents before you make the leap.
Meeting each other’s parents just might give both parties an idea of what they’re in for. Plus, it would give them time to prepare for being a part of this family themselves. This would give you some idea of how to manage major occasions in the future. Let’s face it; most families are going to be a part of your life and your potential future children’s too.
7. Check Out Each Other’s Company
When considering someone for marriage, it’s good to know who they hang out with. One doesn’t choose which family they’re born into. However, they do choose their friends. This choice of there could say a lot about their personality.
Discussing your upcoming life event (the marriage) with your friends is very natural. Thus, it might work to your benefit to get to know your future spouse’s mates. If things get rocky further on, you would love all the support you can get. If your significant other has friends who like you, it could mean less competition and smoother sailing.
6. Talk About Teamwork for Finances
Money is usually a major topic for couples to fight about. So before those vows, think and discuss how you’re going to handle a financial crisis. Who is going to be the main breadwinner, at least at first, and whose income would be saved? It is advisable to sort out these matters first. Not only can they provide you with a safety net and clarity, but prevent many a future fight.
If the two of you can face a serious financial problem together, well and good. However, you can also try discussing hypothetical situations. Hopefully, you may never have to run into financial worries. However, it is inevitable unless you’re filthy rich or super savers. So sit down and get talking!
5. Be Open With Your Flaws
There’s no reason to tell your significant other each and every embarrassing habit you have. If it won’t hurt them, they don’t really need to know it. For instance, your guilty pleasure 80’s sitcoms are none of their business. However, your snoring problem might be.
Having said that, you may also want to come in front of them without makeup. You would be cleaning your face every night after marriage too. It’s only fair that they get a sense of what you really look like. It’s also fair that you get a sense of their reaction to your natural physical beauty. An unkind word about an acne scar could lead to second thoughts. It also showcases what kind of a person the speaker is.
4. Air the Big Skeletons
If there are any major problems in your family, now is the time to tell your significant other. This could mean a history of cancer, Down’s syndrome, or Alzheimer’s. Of course, there’s no telling when tragedy would strike. However, it’s good to know when the main person in your life has the guts to deal with it.
You should also let your partner know if you have any worrying health issue. This also goes for any mental disorder which could make your life other than conventional. Problems like these could include asthma, diabetes, OCD, PTSD, or anything similar. Not all of these problems are always apparent. Once cannot expect the other person to be willing to deal with them after marriage. Hence, it’s better to air everything out and get it over with.
3. Handle Life Separately
This might seem like a bit of a contradiction, but see if you can make it separately. Marriage is a good thing, but it is also a matter of knowing your own self. Losing yourself in the other person may be great in the honeymoon period. However, every person should know how to stand on their own two feet.
Hence, have a night out with your own friends every once in a while. Or just go out by yourself. See if the two of you can handle those little jealousies and even a brief bout of loneliness. No one wants to be tied down at home every single night and day. Make sure your partner can trust you, and that both of you can have fun without the other.
You may be forced to live separately on a temporary basis when it comes to business trips, etc. IF and when that happens, you do not want to become a clingy and scared mess.
Rather, you want to be a beacon of support and strength for your partner. You would also expect them to do the same for you.
2. Learn How to Apologize
We mentioned fighting at the very beginning. One should also learn how to make up after a fight and apologize in an adult way. You also need to make sure that your partner would do the same. If either has trouble apologizing and admitting their wrong, there may be some ego problem here.
There’s nothing wrong with admitting a wrong. If you’ve got a partner who could see their own errors, you’ve struck gold!
1. Consider Compromise
Both of you should share your values and how far you’re willing to compromise them. For instance, you may love celebrating religious holidays. However, your partner may value a more secular form of celebrating the season. The two of you would have to reach some sort of middle point your marriage is going to last. Of course, this becomes even more important if you come from different religions, cultures, or areas.
However, it is highly important to know that you can also stand up for yourself. This means that some of your values are not up for compromise. For instance, you may hate lying and cheating, so make this very clear right in the beginning. Talk about dealbreakers and whether you can agree on certain issues. It may seem irrelevant at first, but lifelong values are harder to crush than you think.