We all make mistakes, and sometimes we end up feeling pretty silly as a result. But if you’ve ever had the feeling of worry that every other bulb in the shed is brighter, never fear! A recent Reddit thread quickly pointed out that, no matter how dumb your mistake can be, there are people who’ve made worse.
Did you know that dinosaurs were extinct? Or that you need a drivers’ license to rent a car? If so, then you’re miles ahead of the people on this list! Most of these things are common sense, but there seem to be a surprising lack of that in the world. It’s equal parts worrying, and hilarious.
Check out these 35 incredibly dumb things people have said or done. You’ll be amazed—and kinda relieved!
That’s not how dogs work…or language.
A girl in one of my college classes didn’t understand how dogs in Spain understood their owners. She thought dogs only understood English and were just lost as hell in any other country. –nate800
Sometimes we just need to be better prepared for the adult world.
Another friend, now 27 and in the working world, recently called to ask me what interest is because “they keep charging this ‘interest’ thing on my loans, like what even is that?” –nate800
And sometimes, you’ve just gotta feel bad for people.
I had an ex that financed all her furniture for a new house. I got a call from her a few months later saying “did you know when you finance something you end up paying WAY more than an item is worth.” Felt bad for her. –Badatthis28
Driving is driving, people. We just learn differently.
I once had a Lyft driver who could not wrap her mind around the fact that people in Australia drive on the left side of the road. “How do they even do that without getting into an accident?!” I lost some of my faith in humanity that day. –LosGatosMalos
Worked at a Starbucks in a mall a few years ago. Some of the stores were going to be closed for Easter, and they had a list of those stores on signs all around the store way ahead of time.
Lady walks up to me at the register and asks if I know what stores will be closed.
I tell her I don’t know them all but that there’s a sign right behind her with a list to which she promptly responds with “I don’t read signs” then expects me to tell her what she wants to know.
I couldn’t hold my laughter after that. –tjcoolkid
Seriously, how is this real?
I’ve met this lady.
I worked at a tea house. We closed for private events. When we did, it usually meant we closed early. The catch was that the guests still needed to get inside, so we closed the doors but didn’t lock them. Signs were posted outside, directly in the path of the door, on big sandwich boards, explaining we were closed for a private party.
The party gets going, and everyone has arrived. They have their tea, they’re having a blast. Two hours in, this lady trips over our sign, moves it out of the way and drags the door open. I’m watching her do this, feeling what little faith I had left in humanity drain away, pray she’ll get it together and stay outside. But no, she’s determined. She’s getting her $7 coffee even if she has to chip a nail to do it.
She gets inside, straightens her coat, huffing at me. “You’re so unwelcoming, making it so hard to get inside! Anyway, I want—,”
Jesus, she’s actually trying to order. At this point, the party is starting to notice. She doesn’t belong, she isn’t here for their baby shower or bridal shower or whatever.
“Oh I’m sorry, we’re closed!” I’m trying to be nice. I’ve had the face on all day, surely it will withstand her and my inner anguish will stay under the surface, right.
“No, I want my latte,” she just brushed it aside. Maybe she didn’t hear me.
“I can’t do that for you, we’re closed for a private party, I’m sorry!”
“Um, what?” Disbelief. Shock. It’s starting to sink in through her inches of make-up and cloud of self-entitlement-scented perfume. She’s being told no? Perish the thought.
“Yeah, like the sign you moved out of the way said, we are closed for a private party. I will not serve you today.” Polite. Firm. Passive aggressive. I’m supposed to be the one staff here that’s good with the difficult customers. Keep it together!
“Ugh, whatever! Like, I don’t read signs! Your coffee isn’t even that good anyway, I was just supporting you people because you’re foreign!”
She left in a huff, stumbled around the sign again, and walked down the block to Starbucks.
What a piece of humanity. –m4ttr1k4n
Text-talk isn’t appropriate for every situation.
Trained up a new girl at work, over the period of a few weeks. Emphasized that one of the most important things in the role is attention to detail. Wording things correctly, showing pride in your work etc.
Day 1 without me, begins sending emails to customers that look like they were written by a 6-year-old. Using the letter ‘U’ instead of ‘you’, ‘thx’ instead of ‘thanks’ & xoxo at the end of her signature.
I laughed so, so hard. She was fired two days later. –TISM_riverphoenix
How to make a horrible first impression at a new job:
We had this brainiac once:
Training Manager: “Hi new guy! I’m [name] from the training department. How’s your first week treating you?”
New guy: “Not good honestly. They have me going through all this fucking garbage training that’s a waste of time.”
Training Manager: “………ouch.”
That actually wasn’t what got him fired, but by two weeks later he was chopped for similar attitude. –bread_berries
This was a disaster waiting to happen:
Last night, driving home from a friend’s place, this dude on a bike—no helmet, no lights, no reflective gear, wearing black, at night, riding in the fast lane of a multi-lane highway where bikes are prohibited, turning at a light against the red, while talking on the phone. –Yoglets
Yeah, that’s not what ‘diet’ means.
Someone who had been trying a ‘Mediterranean diet’ on the advice of their doctor managed to put on 15kg in the 4 weeks since they were advised to do so.
The classic ‘fish and vegetables’ approach they had fervently adhered to had comprised of eating nothing but deep-fried fish and chips from the local chippy.
For four weeks. –barneylow
Did you know that this crazy (and horribly planned) event happened?
The Cleveland Balloon Disaster of 1986.
At that time, the City of Cleveland attempted to set a Guinness World Record by releasing over one-and-a-half-million balloons into the sky from one location.
The resulting cloud was so thick that it temporarily shaded out the sun over part of the city. Many of the balloons went straight into Lake Erie, which interfered with a very urgent Coast Guard search and rescue mission. The victims were found dead several days later.
Most of the remaining balloons drifted up to Canada, where they promptly deflated and littered natural areas en masse.
For weeks, the shoreline was covered in pieces of rubber.
The Guinness Book of World Records refused to recognize the stunt due to its severe negative impact on the environment. Many of the participants seemed genuinely shocked that the balloons eventually fell back down to the ground. –HighDingyDoo
Who thought this was a good idea?
This reminds me of the beached whale in Oregon in the 70’s that was blown up with dynamite and it went so much worse than anticipated. They used way too much dynamite and it rained down decomposing whale bits all over beach-goers and even flattened a car or two. Not sure what they were thinking and now, they dispose of whales in a much safer fashion. –randominiquelouise
Some people should really retake their driving tests.
I was driving on the interstate yesterday evening, traffic wasn’t that heavy. There was a semi that was on the shoulder ready to get back on the road so the car in front of me comes to a complete stop to let this truck on the road. Naturally, I had to come to a sudden stop and so did the semi behind me. Thankfully, there was no one in the left lane, so the semi was able to get around me, but if there was someone in the left lane, an accident would have happened, and I likely would have taken the brunt of it.
DON’T STOP ON AN INTERSTATE! –She_Likes_Cloth
I’m a server and one time a woman made me get her another glass of ice water because the ice had melted and watered down her drink. –cowsworsethancoppers
This person might not know how life works.
Watching March of the Penguins in high school Biology next to the dumbest girl I’ve ever met. First, the DVD had a trailer for Happy Feet before the movie so she immediately goes “Oh my god, how did they get the penguins to dance like that?” thinking it was part of the documentary. Then, later on, there is a scene where one of the penguins gets eaten by a sea lion. She gasps and asks her friend how they’d gotten a dinosaur on film. –undeadgorgeous
First responder here. One thing that always gets me is when I put a “ROAD CLOSED” sign up for one reason or another. Red flares and orange cones are also used to block the road. Yet we ALWAYS have to have someone stand there too, because inevitable some dumb a** will either try to drive through it anyway or will come up and block other traffic nearby to ask “Is this road closed?” –Plainas_Tay
Why would you risk your kids—or yourselves—like this?
Finding out people who can’t swim will take their children who also can’t swim to water parks and get into the wave pool expecting tubes and floaties to keep them alive.
Wave pools are dangerous enough, even for people who CAN swim. Why would anyone who can’t swim, willingly get into one? Go to a waterpark, sure! But stick with the shallower rides that aren’t full of waves designed to knock people around. –beepborpimajorp
Some things just aren’t possible.
“How do you convert meters to pounds?”
This was in high school but it still hurt that it was wrong on so many levels. –FailureFourLife
This is why we follow directions.
On my last trip to Disneyland, I was waiting in line to enter the park. Recently, due to bad people doing bad things, Disney has implemented a security checkpoint. This includes a bag check and a metal detector. It moves fast, it’s easy, it takes maybe three minutes out of your day.
As I was standing there, from behind me, I heard the telltale sound of someone running in flip-flops. I turned around and there was a family of five SPRINTING towards the checkpoint, all in matching shirts, looking like they were running for their lives. I think a parade was about to start, or something. Clearly, their lives would end if they didn’t make it inside in time to see the old man from Up waving on a float.
The mom and the three kids slowed down a little to find a security line. The dad didn’t. Desperate times called for desperate measures. If he didn’t get Little Jimmy inside in time to see Moana SH*T WAS GOING TO HIT THE FAN.
The dad blew straight past the bag check, jostling a few people, and continued right through the metal detector. The alarms went off, but he didn’t stop. Not yet.
A security guard jumped in front of him, threw out an arm, and clotheslined his ass.
By the time I got through the line, they had pulled the guy and his completely MORTIFIED family off to the side and were attempting to escort them out of the park. The guy was confused, angry, and volatile. What did they MEAN he couldn’t go in?! What did they MEAN he was now a “security risk?!” He’s here on VACATION.
I ended up walking away, just close enough to hear an angry “BUT WE BOUGHT TICKETS!”
If I had three days and a PowerPoint presentation I still don’t think I could explain to that man what he did wrong.
By the way, the parade was a baller. –SpelledWithAn_H
The lesson here? Pay attention in geography class.
When I see girls posting on social media ‘Going to London with my friends! Bye, England!’
How dare a children’s toy act unrealistic (even when it’s not)?!
I used to work at a zoo. I saw a woman grab a spotted plush seal out of her son’s hands. “You don’t want that, it’s unrealistic,” she said. “What is this eve, some sort of seal leopard?” Huh, I thought to myself. Leopard seal would be a good name for a totally mythical animal that happens to look just like that plushie. –Hopeful_Penguin
Some people should re-learn measurements.
That thing about when A&W advertised a 1/3-pound burger and it flopped because people thought McDonald’s 1/4-pound burger was bigger because 4 is bigger than 3.
Also, I’ve been watching a lot of Flat Earth videos lately. –Embarrassed_Buy
Ah, if only cell phones worked this way.
I listened to a call at work yesterday where a grown adult man called in to say he left his charger at home and wanted us to send a charge to his phone. I just don’t…what…? –AlliCakes
This is strange on a few levels.
I thought of another one. A woman called complaining that when she went to her Facebook profile, it was someone else’s picture and she was convinced someone stole her Facebook. Turns out, she was typing “your profile” into the search bar and someone named Your Profile was coming up.
During the last solar eclipse, local hospitals reported people showing up to the ER for putting something in their eyes. That something? Sunscreen. –nebshits
Anti-vaxxers. Science brought us to a place where within 100 years or so we could have seen the worldwide elimination of deadly viruses. We killed smallpox. It doesn’t exist anymore! And then there’s this single debunked report and Jenny McCarthy and suddenly we have measles outbreaks. –Manofthedecade
There really is a logical scientific explanation.
CBC did a bit on the first Flat-Earther National Convention in Vancouver. One of the guys they interviewed said:
“If the earth is round, how come water in lakes isn’t round as well??” –thebriss
Thank goodness for Wikipedia—some of us should definitely look things up first.
The people on Reddit who thought that having babies adds total mass to the earth. It literally blew my mind anyone could be so stupid.
Do schools not teach the law of conservation of mass anymore? I thought that was literally like 8th-grade science. –Sherwood16
A lot of U.S. citizens would probably fail the citizenship test.
My professor made us take a US citizen sample exam and a question asked, “who was the president during WWII?” And someone put George Washington as an answer. –_Alphabrah
If you have to ask the question…
My boss asked me once how I managed to get so much work done but was on Reddit every time he came to my desk.
The real question should have been “How does everyone else get so little work done?”.
You mean I won’t learn my daily horoscope?
On the first day of Astronomy I, prof gave us the syllabus and short lecture on exactly what he expected. He finished with “This is no astrology. This is real science.” Two girls got up and left. I was shocked. –judasmachine
Seems like scammers should be obvious…but not to everyone.
I’ve known people who lost thousands in MLM schemes. –lifeisasongyouknow
Multi-level Marketing, that is.
Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice…
One of my acquaintances from high school is a regular with this. Each year she gets scammed into another. First, it was Plexus, then ITWorks, then the toothpaste, then Younique. Then every time after she quits, she puts up a long Facebook post about how it was a scam and won’t be fooled again. Oh, honey. –hhurdd
License before cars, ma’am.
I rent cars, had a lady try to rent a car from me, she didn’t have a driver’s license and got mad when I didn’t rent to her. –greythicv
Thank goodness for safety standards.
At Universal’s volcano bay, there is a ‘fast’ lazy river. It’s so fun! You have to wear life jacket style floaters. My Dad was like ‘I’m not going to wear that! I don’t need to!’
Fortunately, you are forced to.
He did need to. –Adam657